Thursday, October 12, 2006

It is too easy. . .

It is too easy to get discouraged. Thin envelopes with my own handwriting on them depress me. I know when they slip from the mess of catalogues and bills, it will be another rejection.

My head knows it's not a rejection of *me*. How could it be? These agents don't know me. They only have access to a smattering of my words. The start of a story, a query letter. A slim fraction of my work, and almost no sense of who I am.

My heart feels something utterly primal and undeniable.

I can argue with my heart from now until next Tuesday and it won't make it feel any better.

I am tired of reading cheery form letters that exhort me to keep trying, that the right agent for me is certainly just around the corner.

Sigh.

I'm enough of an optimist to get to that place on my own.

It just takes me a few days.

It would be simple to get discouraged, to give up this ridiculous dream of publication. But my traitor heart won't let me. Oh, it will wallow in it's own misery for a day or two, but it can't hold onto bitterness or despair for very long. Soon it will start whistling at odd moments when it doesn't think I'll notice.

And I'll fall in love with the way two words sound next to one another or how one character nudges another into action. Then it's the easiest thing in the world to believe.

Even in the most unlikely of dreams.

8 comments:

  1. Lisa,

    You are a very talented writer. Don't let other people's failure to recognize that talent discourage you. Books are chosen based upon what agents and publishers think will sell. But think of all the great writers they have been wrong about over the years. Keep on pushing forward and keep on writing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't give up.
    Don't give in to easy.

    If it were any easier, there would be a line out the door of writers.

    The words will eventually find a way to come together so that not only will you be happy but an agent, and a publisher, will be ecstatic that you have brought several dozen pages of these words to them.

    That is not a dream. It will be a reality. Someday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just came across your blog tonight while Googling different rejections, as I received *two* rejection letters this week as well! Don't get discouraged! Don't give up! You're already a writer, and that's more than most people can say. We'll get there from here. Rock Solid! If you need any help, let me know :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jim--thank you. That means a lot to me coming from you. (Note to my blog readers--Jim is a wonderful poet! Surf over to his blog and see.)

    Steve--I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you very much.

    Gwyneth--thanks for stopping by. Yes, rejection is frustrating and can be discouraging, but I can't stop writing. It's part of who I am.

    Keep the faith. I will too.

    :)
    lisa

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Lisa. I am really sorry we didn't meet up at Dodge, especially after we were practically standing next to each other!

    So I plan on catching up on a few blogs this weekend and yours is at the top of the list.

    I'm going to echo what everyone else has said--don't give up. I was recently rejected by Jubilat, so now I'm determined to get in eventually. Remember, there's no substitute for persistence.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lisa!
    It's TR from autreat. Your words are beauty. rejection by the world of form must not darken the world of spirit. Nothing wrong with being a shadowy cult figure, eh? :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've got an idea for you...

    ReplyDelete
  8. January--thank you.

    TR--yes, that reminder is very important and thank you for it.

    gzo--(is that you, Zach?)--looking forward to your idea.


    Don't worry--I don't stay discouraged for long. It's alien to my nature. Already 15K into book number 3.

    best,
    lisa

    ReplyDelete